My Lowest Moment

When I returned to Houston from Japan I had just experienced a very emotional breakup. I couldn't find words to express how I felt. I started with a recurring chord and the emotion started to form around the music. Then these words followed:

I floor the pedal when the light's red brake when the light's green

Sometimes I wonder what does life mean?

Is there a reason to some it might seem

That I've been living reckless chasing pipe dreams

At times I'm so confused I don't know who to be?

As I change would I be proud of a future me

I can stay and fight or I can choose to flea

What's the difference between the truth and what I choose to see

I used to have dreams but I can't see them now?

Honestly, no one seems to be around

I really need them now, I'm trying to put up a fight

I'm in the dark but I'm still chasing visions of light

As I continue to write, with everything I am

I feel like I do everything I can! but it's not enough

and I'm not enough, I feel my stomach knotting up

Tell me now should I give up?

After 24 years nothing's different now

In my life, people never stick around

So I learned you can never get attached

Always moving forward never looking back

I'm on a mission and I'm a make a difference

Time to get in a position where I can go the distance

I admit half the time my smile ain't real

I can't let em see me hurt I hide what I feel

I laugh through the pain, smile when I feel awful

All I want....someone to talk to

Memory lane is a painful path to walk through

But you learn from the lessons that it taught you

Time to put on that face because duty calls

You can't run away from who you are

It makes no sense to talk if they don't hear you out

I will always care, I'm just not cared about

It certainly been a journey for me to see

My life change I tell you I need to breathe

I believed in being good, being honest

Being open, give your word keep your promise

I've been spun around by the darkness in my life

In the past 5 years I got my heart broken twice

it feels like I gave everything and then I leave with nothing

I can't even find a friend just to have a small discussion

Never felt more alone, now I barely speak

What don't kill you makes you strong so why I'm feeling weak

These days I'm so exhausted I don't even sleep

Completely lost my appetite so I don't even eat

I do understand and acknowledge all my blessings

But it's really who I am that I've begun to question

Hope that you believe in me I'm praying for help

I haven't lost my faith in people...just the faith in myself.